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Friday, October 21st, 2005
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Friday, August 19th, 2005
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Sometimes I like to touch my nipples while looking at my friends page. They get so hard. Oh yeah so hard. Oh oh oh yeah.
Does anyone have a tissue?
Hundret. Hundret. Hundret.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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I have a new LJ called _tang_
I will actually write in this
LJ on a regular basis....about tang
Some of you may think that "tang" is another word for the vulva. It is actually an orange powder that you add water to in order to make a nice cold sweet sweet tang-like beverage.
Add me if you like.
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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
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Tonight, myself, Maja, "Eddie", Steven, Liz and Sabastian went and saw one of the most important movies this year and maybe even this century. I think the main reason we saw it is because Liz pointed out that "Halle Berry has a great set of teeters on er!" She then downed a huge glass of "Pang" (the vegeterian version of TANG) and slammed it on the table.
There were actualy two other names that Directer Mathieu Kassovitz proposed to the studio executives for the movie. The first one was "The Corset that Dared to Love" and the second was "Look Mom, No Studs!". The Directer conducted some intense marketing research to help him choose a name. He went on his Lj and said "Hey guys! i made a movie today about shit, what should i call it?"
The answer.... Gothica.
Gothica is about a videotape. After you watch the videotape the phone rings, and its Troy, he tells you he is a closet homosexual. Then your phone rings again and its a girl that tells you that you have seven days to live.
The whole time Sebastian was convinced that Halle Berry's breasts were the actual killers. And that they became killers because when she fucked Billy "The Bob" Thornton in Monster's Inc. his posessed inbread seamen some how came into contact with her breasts and seeped through her nymphoides, possibly in the deleted tit-fucking threesome scene where Billy "the hammok" Thornten and Micheal Moore tag her in Boo Radley's house. (deleted scene is available on Monster's Inc. DVD and also Bowling for Columbine). I never thought Robert Downey Jr.would look so good in a corset.
After the movie Maja wanted a bottle of water because she was still dehidrated from Little Birdy at the Annandale.
I beleive that Gothica will appeal to fuckwits in general, and therefor will result in it turning into a "what Gothika character are you?" survey.
I give it 5 out of 5 stars.
Note that Halle has already carved lyrics from the hit Micheal Jackson song "you are not alone" in her arm. She now currently sports the lyrics "Billy Jean is not my lover" on her other arm.
I need an LJ code. Please give me one.
(If I have snobbed you for the past year then just give me a code anyways hey)
P.S.
I'm starting a new LJ support group for people that choose not to be Doner A's on their licence and don't wish to ever donate their organs to "save" lives. I myself refuse to donate organs. If you have a fucked up organ don't come sookin over to my corpse scabbin a kidney. I want to be burried with all my organs in me. In my opinion donating organs kills more people than it saves. If you feel the same, help me get an LJ code too.
its called hands_off_my organs_baby!
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
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When I was young there was a kid named Josh!!!!
He was a real punk rocker!!!!!!
He had two tattoos and wore a leather jacket
And he looked just like Mad Max!!!!!
We tried to be cool but it really didn't work
By writing black Flag 4 on ourlockers!!!!
Then one day he just disappeared
Finally we could just relax!!!!!!
He was a punk named Josh
And he really was an asshole
And we had lots of fun
But it really was a hassle
He was a punk named Josh
And he got bad grades
And he had lots of pimples
But he always got laid
When Josh came back!!!!
From his punk rock adventures !!!
Doing drugs and running from the law!!!!!!!!
He had two new tattoos of an anarchy symbol
And a pretty girl named Roxanne!!!!!!!
His dad was really pissed and sent Josh to rehab!!!!
That's where punk kids go!!!!!!
And he ran away again!!!!
And the last I heard someone saw him at a PUNK ROCK SHOW!!!!
He was a punk named Josh
And he really was an asshole
And we had lots of fun
But it really was a hassle
He was a punk named Josh
And he got bad grades
And he had lots of pimples
But he always got laid
He was a punk named Josh
He was a punk named Josh
He was tough in the mosh
He was a punk named josh
He was a dirty punk-like child high on sauce
He was a punk named Josh
And he really was an asshole
And we had lots of fun
But it really was a hassle
He was a punk named Josh
And he got bad grades
And he had lots of pimples
But he always got laid
He was a punk named Josh
And he wore ripped jeans
But his dad didn't like it
You know his dad was kinda mean
He was a punk named Josh
And he really didn't care
When he had a problem he'd go "Aww, dude"
And he had funny hair
He was a punk named Josh
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 26th, 2003
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Wednesday, October 9th, 2002
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I want a tattoo LIKE this guy here, not the same though, but just the same concept of having one on each shoulder that are mirror images of each other
If your good at art and drawing or you think u do some great little doodles while your on the phone then can u help me with your talents eh?
Or if you know a tattooist or something like that?
wouldn't it be mad to have something you have drawn on my flawless body FOR EVER!
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Comments: Read 32 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
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this phrase was screamed by troy as sam turned into a barn owl at ilexia
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Comments: Read 16 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
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Yeah thats right!! i think that makes me the most GAF here!! PASS ME THE ALARM CLOCK PLEASE!!
It all started off last night. We were enjoying some quality duck in a chinese restaurant with the cast of the film we were in...and my celular phone rang, it was Mallet from school....top bloke...loves his Chopper Reed and Zoolander ...anywhoo he said "hey...what did u do for question 3 of the science assignment due in tomorrow"
*MUSIC IN BACKGROUND NOW STOPS SUDDENLY LIKE SOMEONE DRAGGED THE PIN OVER THE RECORD PLAYER, EVERYONE SHUTS UP*
Vroooom!!! back to my house to start science assignment... didn't finish it... that means ZERO marks for mah HSC
the only way to get out of it was to get a doctor's certificate....but what for?? i'm not sick...and i'm too vain to injure myself and risk scarring my flawless body....
*light bulb appears on top of head* DING!
Three years ago my sister got a few days off work cos she was "stressed"....so i danced over to the computer and looked up "symptoms of stress" in good old McGoogle. WALLAH!
i told my mum i had a mole on my ass that started bleeding....(i had to say that cos she woudn't want to inspect it) and then got the Medicare card
as i was walking to the Medicare centre i passed an old shitbox Datsun 125 (brown...or rust..not sure)
Inside this car was a really really fucking ancient lady making hand gestures to me...i walked over to her, and she was heaps old, and had some wicked facial hair going on...should have had her oestrogen pills when she was going through menapause.
As if this wasn't already creepy enough...it was like one of those Steven King movies that go straight to video and are never as good as the book.
The old lady holds up one finger and starts shaking it... then smiling at me.. and i go "yeah...one?? one what?? you've been locked in this fucking car for one hour??
and she goes "NO!....You've already won..."
and i go "Won what?"
and the old lady bursts into wicked wich mode fucking laughter saying
"REEH HEEE HEEE HEEE HEE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT YET!! REE HEEE HEEE HEEEE"
I could have deciphered some deep yoda like metaphor that would have greatly affected my life and changed my perstective in some great introspective kind of way...but her fucking teeth looked like someone painted Stone Henge yellow and stuck it in her gob...it was like watching a mamagram on the news... u know u don't want to watch the 48 year old's breasts clamped...but u can't look away...
I went into the doctor's, i concocted up this little story that sounded more like Eminem and Jonathan Davis's childhood rapped into one.
as i told him all this crap i shook, and my palms had tap water on them (symptem of stress) and bla bla bla went through the symptoms...
then i shut up and stare at him...
NEXT THING I KNOW HE'S RINGING THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD AT NEPEAN AND BOOKING ME IN FOR SOME HARDCORE ONE ON ONE THERAPY AND I'M LIKE "AAAHHHH FUCK!!!"
backfire!! *cheh cheh....BOOOOM!!*
luckily Dr Feelgood at the Hospital was out to lunch...so it was up to me to come back tomorrow...which i won't... tee teee heee...
i done so well... i was so proud of my performance... but i think i took it too far and went from some jigging shananagans like on Ferris Bueller's Day Off into fucking Girl Interrupted who needed to be institutionalised and subjected to electro shock treatment and a frontal lobatamy.
i'd like to thank the Acadamy...and God...and my mom.. and Bruce my Manager...Love u BRUCY!!
*gets cut off by orchastra*
Then i went back with a bottle of Mount Franklin to give to this poor old fucking philosophical geriatric whose little bastard child thought that penriff car park was fucking STAR CITY and locked her in the car for over and hour... but she snarled at me..i ran away before she could throw her cats at me... i hate it how old woman throw cats at you..
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Comments: Read 35 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 19th, 2002
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| Subject: | YOU KNOW YOUR BASS TEACHER IS ON DRUGS WHEN: |
| Time: | 11:21 pm. |
| Mood: |  calm. | | Music: | troy's holy smoke mix. |
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It was as i was walking down this long rocky driveway through the bush of Falkonbridge at night that i started to get scared.... no one knew where i was, and no one knew i was going to some guy's house called "Ryan" who would teach me some bass shit... i wasn't ready to die and have my skin pealed off so some freakazoid could make a pair of ugg boots made from human skin.
YOU KNOW YOUR BASE TEACHER IS ON DRUGS WHEN
Instead of knocking on the door u have to push and untangle your way through a fucking maze of verticle bead string hangy downy fucking hippy fluro spider web things that have replaced the "convential" door...
After that psychadelic ordial i met "Ryan" or at least thats what he called himself, probably a name his fucking dooms day peace lovin cult gave him cos his name used to be "Nevel" but that name has too many negative vibes about it.
YOU KNOW YOUR BASE TEACHER IS ON DRUGS WHEN
He sits you down, and the first thing he ever says to you is
"I had a revalation today....its like.... the base is the intangible adhesive thats binds the drums and the guitar together, its the fusion between rythem and harmony"
and i'm sitting there like "er....umm..."Ryan" (if that is your real fucking name)....the base is actually tangable....*look*...i'm touching it see...
"TONES.... (notice he called me "tones" even though i intrduced myself as "anthony"..."Tones" is a name my friends call me...just goes to show how swell this guy is)
yeah...Tones...some times you have to learn to see the forrest for the the trees...
YOU KNOW YOUR BASE PLAYER IS ON DRUGS WHEN
He starts a sentence beggining with
"Playing the base is like Thai Chi...."
When he says:
"Theres often alot of emphasis on the first and third notes in a bar.....in western culture....oh sorry maaaaaaan... i'm a uni student...i gotta start thinking "back in the box" when i'm teaching you" *creates a box with his hands and stares at it....then tries to look inside it...as if he is "getting into the "box"
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Comments: Read 17 or Add Your Own.
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sinertia's journal
naughty.
nauseated.
thirsty.